„I will do my best as well to help the needy...”

My name is Borbély Szidónia. I am a third-grader at the University of Pharmacy and Medicine of Târgu Mureș. I was born in Miercurea Ciuc, I started my studies at the Petőfi Sándor Elementary School, and I finished at the Márton Áron High School. I started my university studies in 2011. My mother, Silló Kinga receives incapacity benefit. I was 6 when my parents divorced. Since then my mother has been taking care of me, and I haven’t seen my father. He didn’t even try to visit me, or pay child support. After the divorce we had nothing left, my mother’s parents supported us.

Q: Why did you decide to become a nurse?

Borbély Szidónia: From my experiences I can tell that people need help; for a sick person a kind gesture, a nice word, and the fact that somebody cares about him, cares for him, and tries to alleviate his pain mean a lot. I love helping people, even if it is very painful when you can’t help somebody anymore. We do practice in hospitals, at different departments. There are last-state patients, who know that they are very sick, and there aren’t many chances for their recovery, but with kindness and love one can alleviate their pain, one can make them smile. During the three years I have seen many times what treating them with love, like a family member means to them. Unfortunately I have seen also examples when a nurse did his duty without explaining the patient what he was doing and why, without trying to encourage him. In this profession people have to put their heart and soul in what they do and not to go to work only for the salary. We have to treat them like humans, who need encouragement, because most of them are too sensible, impatient, and hopeless.

Q: What gives you strength to encourage these people? Don’t cases where is no hope dissuade you? I suppose that beside the positive cases you have seen a lot of negative ones as well...

Borbély Szidónia: I am a very optimistic person, something I would like to share with the patients as well. I hope that we can help everybody. The positive experiences and the fact that most people appreciate my attitude give me force. In their eyes I see hope, and I feel that it was worth to choose this profession. In the cases when we can’t do anything we need to be even stronger, and give the sick even more love in order to give them strength to bear the sufferance and to live the last period happily and loved.

Q: Have you ever have a close friend on the sick bed? Have you ever needed to tell them the bad or good news?

Borbély Szidónia: My grandfather was between life and death, but back then I wasn’t a university student yet. Even though the doctors didn’t say anything good, I tried to hide the fact that his sickness was serious. It was a white lie. I made him believe that he was going to recover soon, and the words had a better effect on him than the treatment. Due to positive thinking it happened. In case of a sickness positive thinking is very important; this is one of the most effective „medicines”.

Q: Am I right that this story is a key to your choice?

Borbély Szidónia: Yes, because then I saw how important caring for a patient and his family members was. That was when I understood the essence of this profession.

Q: What did your family think about your decision? Did they support you? Didn’t they try to influence you to choose a „more comfortable” profession?

Borbély Szidónia: My mother imagined something else, because she knew how hard working with people was. She wanted me to learn Computer Science and Mathematics, because I was a very good student from first grade. Finally, she let me decide, because she knows how a job is when you don’t like it.

Q: As I know, without considering the money, you would like to work here. Haven’t you thought about going abroad in the hope of a higher salary?

Borbély Szidónia: I thought about it just like everybody else, but this is my fatherland, my home, I have my family here, and I would like to help the locals. I don’t consider it right to go abroad when one learns here and get the support from here. My conscience dictates me to help where I was helped, and where I belong.

Q: It is very nice. You mentioned that you parents divorced, and you hadn’t seen your father for years. What would you tell him or ask him if you saw him?

Borbély Szidónia: What can you ask from a person (because I can’t call him father) who left his child in the biggest need, before operations for alcohol, gambling and his own mother? After the operation he didn’t even care if I was dead or alive. I was born with cheilognathopalatoschisis (cleft of the lip, upper jaw, and hard and soft palates.), I have already been operated for three times, and I would need another plastic surgery, which is part of the operation and would restore the external surface, but I can’t afford it. My father had nothing, due to my mother and my grandfather he lived happily, but he played with their goodness because together with his mother they took everything from my family. If I saw him again, I would not talk to him; he doesn’t exist for me, because somebody who doesn’t care about his daughter, hides in order to avoid paying child support that can’t be called father. I would add that he could have come, he could have looked for me, I was allowed to see him, but for him the money was more important than his own child.

Q: But do you know anything about him? Do you keep in touch with the relatives from your father’s side?

Borbély Szidónia: I don’t know anything about him; he is hiding to avoid paying child benefit. His mother played a big role in the fact that me and nothing else was left for my mother after the divorce. My grandmother on my father’s side didn’t even want to buy me an ice cream, and went forward, while my mother bought me one, and then she came back, as nothing had happened.

Q: Your family went through a lot...

Borbély Szidónia: That is true, and we still do it even these days. For me the scholarship means the future, without it I couldn’t continue my studies, because my mother’s incapacity benefit isn’t enough even for the medicines. I hope that the Verestóy Foundation will be proud of me, because I will do my best as well to help the needy. I know what living full of doubts means, and when we almost give up our dreams, somebody lays us a hand- in my case the Verestóy Foundation. I respect with all my hart the employee of the Foundation, and a thank them all. Without the scholarship I couldn’t be where I am now.